The first one is this thing:
It is called the dipr and it is used to dip your cookies in milk without getting your fingers all gross. I, honestly, can not make up my mind if this is the dumbest or the greatest thing I have ever seen.
It comes in several colors and this is how it is described on the website:
The dipr is a spoon that holds your sandwich cookie while you dip it in milk or other liquid. The dipr cradles the cookie by the cream and prevents the cookie from crumbling when dunked. Best of all, you can eat right off of it so no more sticky fingers! Join the dunking revolution and collect all 5 colors today!
They cost $2.99 each plus shipping.
And then there is this:
Wanna take a guess what it is before I tell you? I think I could have gone the rest of my life without knowing, but I didn't and now you have to know too.
It is a chest hair toupee. No, I am completely serious. It costs $20.50 and you can chose between several colors.
Now, aren't you glad you subscribed to me??